Okay, That’s A Little Weird

We had a great Thanksgiving. Usually as many of us five brothers and families as can, gather at my parent’s for the big feast. It’s the one time each year when we can all count on being together. We pig out and talk – although some wouldn’t call it talking. It’s more like just being in the same vicinity. Nothing’s strained. We just aren’t big talkers. But it’s more communicating than goes on the rest of the year at least.

Anyway. On to the weird part. You see, last Thanksgiving my Dad died. Which was kind of a bitter-sweet thing for it to happen on Thanksgiving. But very cool that we all were able to be there when it happened. So this year when people asked me how my Thanksgiving was – I wanted to set up the picture for people on why this year was different because it was the first Thanksgiving since both my parents have……… Well, that’s the weird part. How do I say it?

“This was the first year since my parents have… …died.” Yes, that’s a fact. But it feels a little cold. “…haven’t been around.” Sounds a bit strange. “…gone to heaven? …crossed the river?” Sure, but a little cheesy I think. I heard someone recently say their grandpa had “passed on.” Still feels a little weird. I don’t want to go the Star Trek route either… “…transported …beamed up.”

And it hit me that everything I tried felt either trite, cliché, cheesy or cold. Even though my parent’s bodies have died, I think of them as very much alive. To me it feels more like they’re on vacation in Europe than dead. I’d like to think that’s not denial – although those of you who don’t believe in an afterlife might think it’s all a religious deception and that I’m brainwashed. But all I know is that’s how I feel. And yes, that’s what I’ve been taught the scriptures say.

Sure I miss them. But I don’t think of them as unexisting. It could be I’m frustrated that people have overused phrases so that now the good ones feel trite or religious. Maybe I’m longing for new ways of saying old things. I love how one translation of the Bible uses the phrase “and he was gathered with his fathers.” That’s a cool image.

So how do I say it? How do I describe it? How do I put all my thoughts into a little phrase? Or am I asking a little phrase to do too much? Am I just being a perfectionist? I guess I just want to be accurate when I say important things. Okay, that does sound a little anal.

Maybe I’ll just say how I feel. “We had a good thanksgiving, but a little different since this is the first year my parents have been… …living in Europe.”

Sabbath Life

If there's one thing God has hammered me with over the years - it's the concept of resting in him. Am I the only one who struggles to trust - to let go - to surrender?

Life's been a bit crazy lately. And I'll admit, during those times it's a little too easy to put a tarp over my heart. I guess I keep thinking that if I just suck it up and push through, it will all work out. Put my shoulder down and move forward. Think strategically. What is the 20% that will give the 80% return. (Help me! John Maxwell's stuck in my body and I can't get him out!!!)

Eventually, gently, God reminds me of an essential difference in the core of my new heart. It usually comes through Isaiah 30:15.

This is what the Sovereign LORD,

the Holy One of Israel, says:

"In repentance and rest is your salvation,

in quietness and trust is your strength...

The clencher comes at the end though.

but you would have none of it.

"yyyyoooouch!"

It's hard sometimes to reject my controling ways of living. Not that the stuff I mentioned above is all bad. (Please don't send me any Maxwell books though!) But God longs for my heart posture to reflect a silly dependence on my creator, sustainer, provider, empowerer. The sovereign One is in charge. And I can argue all I want. I can posture and pontificate and position and prioritize.

Or I can rest. I can be quiet. I can trust.

Deep breath Randy. God can handle it.

Normal Life Again!?!

Well, Dracula is over. But after raving reviews (not only from family and friends!) I think Jenn been resmitten with the drama bug. But for now, our schedule can return to a little more like normal - or at least as normal as a household with almost 3 teenagers in the house! Here's some pics I thought you (if anyone ever reads this stuff) might enjoy.

Bobsled Anyone?

I’ve been getting to know Jason Ross online over the last weeks. He attends Westwinds when he’s in town, but right now he’s up in Calgary training and competing on the U.S. National Bobsled Team at the World Cup. Here’s a picture of last year’s team (although I’m not sure which one is Jason) Pretty cool, eh? They were doing 2 man on Friday and 4 man on Saturday.

In talking with him, it’s amazing how the littlest things could jeopardize what they do. Too much weight, too little weight, a weak or strained muscle. Even attitude and conflict among the team. I know that’s just like any team, but I still find it fascinating.

If you want to know more about Jason’s team, go to http://www.usbsf.com/.

Which does God reward?

This week a friend asked me a great question. Does God reward action or patience?

I know the obvious answer is… “Yes!”, because different circumstances warrant different responses. But I think the heart of his question was more… how do we tell in difficult situations whether we’re to plow ahead or hold up? And does God have a preference on which fork in the road we take or is he more concerned with our attitude?

What do you think?

Meeting in Munich

In addition to seeing my oldest daughter star in "Dracula" three times this weekend, I went to see my youngest daughter in "Meeting in Munich", a play written and directed by my neighbor, Paul Patton. Most of the roles are filled with SAU students, but they needed some children to fill some parts as well. Emma’s got the drama bug too and did a great job with her small part. The play was extremely well written and performed.

Like his other play, "Meeting in Kansas", it’s put on in a very small venue giving the audience a sense of involvement – encouraging them to wrestle with the feelings of being surrounded with tension and controversy. This particular play takes place inside a small german church in 1933, just after Hitler has ordered all church youth groups to be disbanded and assimilated into the Hitler Youth organization. A “prayer meeting” becomes a hot bed for debate between Nazi loyalists and government skeptics (with genuine earnest to follow God on both sides) as to what the appropriate response should be to his edict.

Patton does an excellent job of helping us sense the challenge of discerning good from evil / right from wrong in leadership – government or otherwise. Discerning motive is difficult in intimate relationships – let alone when you’re trying to judge a distant leader’s intentions and heart. We each have an acceptable amount of tolerance for impropiety as long as the end result accomplishes something in line with our ideals or desires.

I’d like to think that I would have stood up against the discrimination of the Jewish people, but no one really knows what they would do in similar circumstances. And how bad would it had to have gotten before I jumped in to help?

On the other hand… when’s the last time I stood up against injustice in my community? Am I waiting for things to get really bad? (and what does “really bad” look like?) Am I waiting until it affects someone I know… or my family… or me? Am I thinking I’m not liable for those atrocities because I’ve got plenty of other important things on my plate? Is it just easier to tolerate and close my eyes? Am I letting myself off the responsibility hook because I'm a pastor addressing the core issues of life that will utimately change culture anyway?

Hmmmmm...

Leadership Dancing

I know I’m getting older and I know I’m an idealist at times. But sometimes I just want to get out of the church organization rut. It doesn’t feel like I’m “playing church”, but sometimes I long to be spending my time more with people and less with decisions and creating systems. I guess I’m allowing myself to feel pressured (although no one is directly) to “make” things happen when my bent is more to jump in where I see God moving. There’s a huge difference in my mind. Both require me to be assertive and decisive. But while one feels more like manufacturing, the other feels more organic – at least to me.

People view leadership as seeing something that needs to happen and leading the charge to see that need come to fruition. That’s certainly positive and legitimate. But this is not healthy in all leadership contexts, is it?

Take family or farming or apprenticing for instance. Leadership in these contexts require the leader to be so in tune with the thing or person or system he is leading that he must learn to dance with the aspects of the thing, person or system that are outside of his ability to control. Unlike in farming where the leader’s/farmer’s effectiveness at leadership is determined by how well he can manipulate the environment; when leading people one either learns how to manipulate people to do what he wants them to do – or he learns how to dance with them – with less of an agenda and more of a curiosity to discover where the collision of desires and dreams will take them. So while I may have strong opinions about what my graduating senior should do with her life; good leadership would not force her to follow my conclusions.

So aspects of church life will certainly require traditional leadership. But by definition, doesn’t the church need to be more about relationships and environment and encouragement and transformation rather than creating systems and planning events and establishing structures? Shouldn’t the system somehow reflect an intrinsic recognition that God is the leader – and we follow and lead others with impaired vision and hearing at best? Shouldn't it feel more missional and organic than programmatic and even structured at times?

(Posted, then read a good friend's blog who happened to post yesterday about some of his recent research. I think there's some overlap here in our blogs. He referenced a great Barna article that I'm certain will become fodder for future posts. I plan to check out his new book, Revolution. )

Dracula Likes My Daughter!

Okay, not really. But tonight is the opening night of her high school play and she’s got the female lead (Mina) in Dracula. When Jenn was growing up, we used to say she was born for the stage. I still believe it. I’m not sure what it will look like in the future, but for tonight – I will be in daddy dreamland as I watch her. I can’t wait. I just know she’s going to do awesomely. She says she gets to be both good and evil – so it should come pretty naturally for her. (Just kidding! She’s the best.) I’m so proud of her. She’s juggled a ton these past few weeks with school, play, work and getting apps for colleges sent in.

This week as someone was passing on to me some “praise Jenn” comments the director had given, I flashed back to her audition for a part in Annie when we lived in Cleveland. She was one of 150 fourth graderish kids there hoping for a part. And when her turn came late in the day, it was like the Director came alive again and began dancing around the room. Not really, but that’s what her dad saw in the director’s mind. She was captured by Jenn. I remember feeling a bit embarrassed for the other girls in the group.

Later, the director told us that if this hadn’t have been Jenn’s first role, she would have given her the lead part. So she cast her as Molly... ...an awesome first role!

Seems like it was yesterday. She’s only grown in beauty and ability since that time. I can’t wait. She’s going to do awesomely!